Featured Profiles

bodhisattva53 Most humbling moment: "Whenever one of my kindergarten students tells me they love me."

smoothbrotha More about who I'm looking for: "Someone who doesn't lie and say the only thing they watch on TV is PBS."

pee If I could be anywhere at the moment: "Rambling cross-country hauling an old Airstream, with honky-tonk spilling off the radio."

venusinterupted Why you should get to know me: "I'm creamy, and contain 25% less fat then regular peanut butter."

galsaturday Best (or worst) lie I've ever told: "I am the airline upgrade lie specialist. I can say no more."

samantha In my bedroom, you'll find: "Erotica books and a jackrabbit."

michelleca The five items I can't live without: "Laughter, music, a soft touch, NYPD Blue and Hank."

Create Your Free Account to Get Started × Please fix the issues below marked in red.

Connect with Facebook

or

I am a

Man Woman

Looking for a

Man

Woman

× Who would you like to meet?

Born

Month January February March April May June July August September October November December Day 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Year 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 1993 1992 1991 1990 1989 1988 1987 1986 1985 1984 1983 1982 1981 1980 1979 1978 1977 1976 1975 1974 1973 1972 1971 1970 1969 1968 1967 1966 1965 1964 1963 1962 1961 1960 1959 1958 1957 1956 1955 1954 1953 1952 1951 1950 1949 1948 1947 1946 1945 1944 1943 1942 1941 1940 1939 1938 1937 1936 1935 1934 1933 1932 1931 1930 1929 1928 1927 1926 1925 1924 1923 1922 1921 1920 1919 1918 1917 1916 1915 1914 × Please verify your birthdate.

Her birthday is on

Month January February March April May June July August September October November December Day 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Year 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 1993 1992 1991 1990 1989 1988 1987 1986 1985 1984 1983 1982 1981 1980 1979 1978 1977 1976 1975 1974 1973 1972 1971 1970 1969 1968 1967 1966 1965 1964 1963 1962 1961 1960 1959 1958 1957 1956 1955 1954 1953 1952 1951 1950 1949 1948 1947 1946 1945 1944 1943 1942 1941 1940 1939 1938 1937 1936 1935 1934 1933 1932 1931 1930 1929 1928 1927 1926 1925 1924 1923 1922 1921 1920 1919 1918 1917 1916 1915 1914 x Please verify your birthdate.

Interested in

Dating
Serious relationship
Friendship

× What kind of relationship do you want?

Location

e.g. 95127 or Sunnyvale × Type in your city.

Email

you@address.com × What’s your email address?

Username

× Pick a username.

Password

× You must enter a password.

 

Express Yourself x Please fix the issues below marked in red.

His section

His height:

Prefer not to say <5 ft 0 in 5 ft 0 in 5 ft 1 in 5 ft 2 in 5 ft 3 in 5 ft 4 in 5 ft 5 in 5 ft 6 in 5 ft 7 in 5 ft 8 in 5 ft 9 in 5 ft 10 in 5 ft 11 in 6 ft 0 in 6 ft 1 in 6 ft 2 in 6 ft 3 in 6 ft 4 in >6 ft 4 in

His body type:

Prefer not to say Average Slim/Petite Athletic Robust A little extra padding Rubenesque

His race:

Prefer not to say American Indian Asian Black Caucasian East Indian Hispanic Middle Eastern Various Other

His active:

His smoking:

Prefer not to say I'm a non-smoker I'm a light/social smoker I'm a heavy smoker I'm a cigar/pipe smoker

His drinking:

Prefer not to say I don't drink at all I'm a light/social drinker I'm a heavy drinker

His interests:

Arts Animals Business news Beauty Cars and Car Talk Child Care Collectibles Cooking/Baking Computer Games Computer Programming Crafts Culture Dancing Entertainment Exercise and Fitness Fashion Feng Shui Fine Dining Gardening Healthy Living Investing Investment Real Estate Martial Arts Music Nature/Ecology Playing the Stock Market Reading Scrapbooking Soap Opera Sporting Activities Stay-at-home mom/dad advice swap Surfing the Internet Travel Vacationing, Time Shares, Home Swapping Video Games Vegetarian cooking/eating Volunteering Yoga/Meditation x Please specify what you're interested in

Her section

Her height:

Prefer not to say <5 ft 0 in 5 ft 0 in 5 ft 1 in 5 ft 2 in 5 ft 3 in 5 ft 4 in 5 ft 5 in 5 ft 6 in 5 ft 7 in 5 ft 8 in 5 ft 9 in 5 ft 10 in 5 ft 11 in 6 ft 0 in 6 ft 1 in 6 ft 2 in 6 ft 3 in 6 ft 4 in >6 ft 4 in

Her body type:

Prefer not to say Average Slim/Petite Athletic Robust A little extra padding Rubenesque

Her race:

Prefer not to say American Indian Asian Black Caucasian East Indian Hispanic Middle Eastern Various Other

Her active:

Her smoking:

Prefer not to say I'm a non-smoker I'm a light/social smoker I'm a heavy smoker I'm a cigar/pipe smoker

Her drinking:

Prefer not to say I don't drink at all I'm a light/social drinker I'm a heavy drinker

Her interests:

Arts Animals Business news Beauty Cars and Car Talk Child Care Collectibles Cooking/Baking Computer Games Computer Programming Crafts Culture Dancing Entertainment Exercise and Fitness Fashion Feng Shui Fine Dining Gardening Healthy Living Investing Investment Real Estate Martial Arts Music Nature/Ecology Playing the Stock Market Reading Scrapbooking Soap Opera Sporting Activities Stay-at-home mom/dad advice swap Surfing the Internet Travel Vacationing, Time Shares, Home Swapping Video Games Vegetarian cooking/eating Volunteering Yoga/Meditation x Please specify what you're interested in

Your Introduction

AverageFamily information

Average living situation

Average active

Average smoking

Prefer not to say We are all non smokers We are mostly non smokers Most of us are smokers We are all smokers

Average drinking

Prefer not to say We all don't drink at all Most of us don't drink Most of us drink We all drink

Your Interests

Arts Animals Business news Beauty Cars and Car Talk Child Care Collectibles Cooking/Baking Computer Games Computer Programming Crafts Culture Dancing Entertainment Exercise and Fitness Fashion Feng Shui Fine Dining Gardening Healthy Living Investing Investment Real Estate Martial Arts Music Nature/Ecology Playing the Stock Market Reading Scrapbooking Soap Opera Sporting Activities Stay-at-home mom/dad advice swap Surfing the Internet Travel Vacationing, Time Shares, Home Swapping Video Games Vegetarian cooking/eating Volunteering Yoga/Meditation x Please specify what you're interested in

Your Introduction

Headline

x Need 25 characters minimum.

10 characters more needed

Why you should get to know me

x Need 50 characters minimum.

50 characters more needed Writing ideas

Optional Information

The word or phrase that best describes my personality

The best or worst lie I've ever told

Fill in the blank

is sexy, is sexier.

My most humbling moment

The last thing that made me laugh out loud

By choosing to continue, we certify we are at least 18 years old and have read and agree to the The Onion Dating terms of use and privacy policy, and further consent to the use of cookies.

 

Powered by FastCupid
©2013 FastCupid Inc. All rights reserved.
FastCupid® and Fast Cupid^SM are service marks of FastCupid, Inc.
Corporate | Privacy Policy / Cookies | Terms of Use | Help / Contact | Report Abuse